Today marks one year of a pivotal day in my life. I was at East Carolina for freshman orientation and it was a complete rush of emotions. I had finished my first day of tours and tutorials and lectures and attempted recruitments all among the heat of the sun and the mass of fellow classmates as lost and anxious as I was. I returned to my empty assigned dorm room, prepared for bed, and reflected on the overwhelming experiences of the day.
My random roommate for the night came in soon after and we awkwardly began to make small talk about the campus and different events that took place. Within a matter of minutes our conversation grew much deeper as we discussed our perspectives on life. It was quite obvious that we came from two different backgrounds, but we shared much in common when we dug into the deeper layers of our lives. Before we knew it, it had become a new day and we were still talking at 1:30 a.m. A friend she had met during the first day came by and they began to talk.
I turned over and attempted to sleep as my mind continued to race through all of the things that had transpired within the last 24 hours. I can’t remember what happened during that time. Whether I fell asleep or laid awake in a subconscious state I do not know, but I ended up rolling over looking at these two girls I had just met and telling them I did not know where I was. For those that know me well, they know this is quite possibly my least favorite sentence in the entire world as well as the indication that the next few minutes will be very unsettling. This is the last thing I can recall of that moment. After that, all sense of time was out the window.
The next thing I remember was a woman coming into my room telling me I had had a seizure; in the running with my other least favorite sentence. I burst into tears. This was the tenth time. I had so many thoughts rushing through my head… Again? Really, again? Should I call my parents? It’s 3 a.m. Who was in the room? This is the third time this year! AGAIN?!?!... The first person that came to mind to call was my sister. Even though she was back home and my parents were in a hotel close to campus, I knew she would be awake and since I had already had the seizure, I didn’t feel there was anything my parents could do. I felt calling them at this point would only wake them up to be upset and have a restless night. Getting to hear my sister’s voice gave me comfort and the courage to call my parents and tell them what had happened.
Later that morning as all of the other students continued on with the second half of the orientation, I moved to a more comfortable bed in my parents hotel room where I slept heavily and questioned what the future would hold for my college plans. It scared me to think about being off on a college campus and have that happen again, but this time maybe walking to class, or at a football game, or hanging out with a group of friends. After falling in love with the campus, getting into the perfect dorm room, and planning to share it with a friend from back home, it was confusing me that God seemed to send me a sign that I was in the wrong place. Why was He allowing this to happen during such a special time in my life?
After much evaluation I came to a conclusion. This was the tenth seizure I had had in my life. It wasn’t the first time this happened to me and it most certainly was not the worst circumstance I could have been in. I’ve had a seizure way out in the country of Lexington Kentucky with a very small and incapable hospital, I had one walking down the stairs after a workout by myself on a concrete floor in my garage, I had one just minutes before getting in the car to drive, and I had one going up a steep escalator in New York City. Through all of these scary situations as well as many other times, God has protected me in ways that cannot be explained because they are so beyond our human understanding.
I knew that my unsolved health condition was something that could not be ignored, but I also knew that God would not allow it to hold me back from the goals I longed to achieve. God helped me to realize as long as I continue to trust His will in my life and follow the path He has set before me, He will continue to watch over me in every step that I take. With that faith, I completed my freshman year at ECU, free of health issues and July 1, 2011 marks one year of being seizure free! Not to say I will never have one again because I am unaware of the days ahead, but I can say that God is faithful to those who fully put their trust in Him and I can continue through my life without worry because of this truth.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
